So I graduated from high school with pretty good grades , I was very satisfied with the amount of effort I put in to get those grades
my father's first reaction : " your grades are not so good , you should have done better " .
how so very encouraging and emotionally uplifting father ! I f-ing graduated from high school with v.good grades .
he drew his own picture of how my life should be , regardless of what I thought .
a father who never cared one bit about my life , now comes to make future decisions for me !!
he wanted me to either be a doctor or an engineer , and he knew full well that those two choices for me were out of the question . unlike him , money was never and will never be my interest in life , I know haven't found myself yet , as I dreamed of becoming many of different things like a teacher (when I was younger) , an artist , a marine biologist a journalist and a graphic designer . my goal was to pour my heart and soul to a career I liked as a hobby , money has never mattered to me as much of me liking what I do , serving humanity with a pleasure is an enlightening way to live and be , instead of serving humanity for just financial goals and human greed .
I felt like a prisoner of my own wishes , I couldn't be any of what I wanted to be , because all the colleges I had to attend in order for me to be in that particular section were either unavailable as in there weren't even enough doctors that worked there , also the colleges were known to be pretty lame , I've been acussed by friends and family members of being "insane" for thinking about choosing a career I liked for what it was , and not for what it paid .
this was one of the most ugliest times in my life , a time where I felt nothing but suicidal . for all was against me , and I was alone . nothing mattered to me anymore , I ended up in a state where I felt numb and just didn't care anymore about anything , not even my life ... what ever happened happened there was no stoping it .
and unfortunately I ended up in the college of business administration , a place I never imagined my self in and fully hated , I feel like it's a curse
as I am not one bit interested in any of the college's fields and sections .
it's my seconde year at college and so far ... I'm not liking it , I feel like this is torture ... me attending a college I don't like which will be based on a false future of which I haven't planned
it is all one big mistake and it aches me to my soul .
what am I to do ?? where do I go from here ?? I feel lost in a world where I don't belong , I cried and cried and still cry , with this heavy burden in my chest questioning myself on and on , but life never gives a straight answer . and I still wait whilst being lost ... just another blank to be filled .
" The whole secret of a seccessful life is to find out what is one's destiny to do and then do it " Henry Ford
" Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life " Confucius
my father's first reaction : " your grades are not so good , you should have done better " .
how so very encouraging and emotionally uplifting father ! I f-ing graduated from high school with v.good grades .
he drew his own picture of how my life should be , regardless of what I thought .
a father who never cared one bit about my life , now comes to make future decisions for me !!
he wanted me to either be a doctor or an engineer , and he knew full well that those two choices for me were out of the question . unlike him , money was never and will never be my interest in life , I know haven't found myself yet , as I dreamed of becoming many of different things like a teacher (when I was younger) , an artist , a marine biologist a journalist and a graphic designer . my goal was to pour my heart and soul to a career I liked as a hobby , money has never mattered to me as much of me liking what I do , serving humanity with a pleasure is an enlightening way to live and be , instead of serving humanity for just financial goals and human greed .
I felt like a prisoner of my own wishes , I couldn't be any of what I wanted to be , because all the colleges I had to attend in order for me to be in that particular section were either unavailable as in there weren't even enough doctors that worked there , also the colleges were known to be pretty lame , I've been acussed by friends and family members of being "insane" for thinking about choosing a career I liked for what it was , and not for what it paid .
this was one of the most ugliest times in my life , a time where I felt nothing but suicidal . for all was against me , and I was alone . nothing mattered to me anymore , I ended up in a state where I felt numb and just didn't care anymore about anything , not even my life ... what ever happened happened there was no stoping it .
and unfortunately I ended up in the college of business administration , a place I never imagined my self in and fully hated , I feel like it's a curse
as I am not one bit interested in any of the college's fields and sections .
it's my seconde year at college and so far ... I'm not liking it , I feel like this is torture ... me attending a college I don't like which will be based on a false future of which I haven't planned
it is all one big mistake and it aches me to my soul .
what am I to do ?? where do I go from here ?? I feel lost in a world where I don't belong , I cried and cried and still cry , with this heavy burden in my chest questioning myself on and on , but life never gives a straight answer . and I still wait whilst being lost ... just another blank to be filled .
" The whole secret of a seccessful life is to find out what is one's destiny to do and then do it " Henry Ford
" Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life " Confucius
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